Illinois...

I would say, "Need I say more," but many are still unaware or in denial that the drivers in Illinois are the worst in the country. I tried to think of different ways of illustrating this and originally I was going to split my experience into multiple posts so that it would take up the entire "recent posts" section and, thereby, make the point that it was overwhelming evidence to support my claim. What I decided instead was to put everything into one post, especially since it all happened in the same trip. I'm thinking you'll understand when I'm done, but if not, you're welcome to take a trip for yourself. One of my friends thought I was exaggerating until he went on his own escapade. Now, well...

So, I'm driving through Chicago, looking for the highway, or at least seeing the highway and looking for a way to actually get on it. I'm minding my own business and a car with three to four teenage boys comes along side. The driver's revving the engine and stutter starting, bucking his car to get my attention. I try to ignore him until I see I need his lane to make a turn to go the correct direction. I slow down, as I'm not like the rest of the idiots in this world that think they always have to go in front of someone in order to get over. He slows down to match. I speed up thinking he's just thinking I'm thinking like the rest of the idiots in the world and want to go in front to go around. No dice. He speeds up to match. I slam on my breaks, knowing there's no one directly behind me. I pretty much come to a dead stop in the middle of the road. He was not expecting this and he attempted to slow down again, but he didn't slow down enough. I slip in behind with just enough time to make my turn.

After turning, I'm heading down a road which has two lanes, mine and oncoming traffic. Then again, I'm in Illinois which apparently means you can make your own lane. I was passed, twice, by cars driving on the shoulder. I wasn't poking along by any means, but I wasn't going 20 over the limit, either. I was starting to make my theory at this point, but it hadn't been completely tested. But there's more...

I pulled up to a stoplight with a single left turn lane, which I'm learning means nothing. A car pulls up on an island separating our lanes from the oncoming traffic lanes. From there, he proceeds to turn left when the light turns green. At this point I'm beginning to realize I'm the only one who thinks this is odd. No one honks or yells or disallows these actions. In fact, the driver in the actual left turn lane just let the other driver go ahead. He who straddles island gets the right of way...

Then, as I'm looking for a way to get on the highway, apart from the bad drivers, I'm sitting at an intersection of the same road. You heard right, the same road intersected with itself. It was the nexus of the universe.

So, I finally made it on the highway and there was some construction going on which made for the use of only one lane. Yeah, right... I was, once again, passed multiple times by those driving on the shoulder. You realize that's illegal right?

So, my theory well proven, I'm telling everyone about the experience, letting them know to be aware of trips to Illinois. A couple days later I'm sitting at a stop light in Missouri and I see a driver go from his right hand left turning lane into the left hand destination lane. Trying to make a joke about it instead of get too stressed about the experience, I say, "Must be an Illinois driver..." You guessed it. We pulled up to the next light and the plates were Illinois, hopefully just visiting.

No Really,
AWChris